When It Doesn’t Go the Way You Thought
The Pivot: Stepping Out on Faith: A Note from One SisterFriend to Another
Now that this three-part April reflection on the Pivot has ended, I find myself holding both what we learned and what we have felt along the way. We began with courage. We made room for truth. We took a step forward.
And still, not every step leads where we expect.
There is something just as important in staying present when the outcome does not affirm us right away. In trusting that the step still matters, even when the response is different than what we hoped for. Outcomes are rarely in our control.
And when you find yourself in that space, may you remember that the outcome does not determine the worth of the step or who you are.
With love,
Belinda
SisterFriend Reflection: When It Doesn’t Go the Way You Thought
”Hope is a song in a weary throat.”
—Rev. Dr. Pauli Murray
Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting on the Pivot, those moments that ask us to be courageous, to speak what is true, and to take a step forward. And yet, even after we take the step, something else often follows.
There was a moment recently when I took a step that felt right.
I submitted a proposal to speak at a conference in a space that deeply matters to me. It was aligned with my work, my experience, and my voice. As I prepared the application, I felt a quiet confidence. This was something I could offer. Something that fits. And when I submitted it, I believed that it would lead somewhere.
But I was not selected.
The response to my application did not say that my work was lacking. It acknowledged that many strong applications were received, and that the selection process was difficult. In many ways, it affirmed the work I had submitted.
And still, I felt it. It landed as a kind of hurt I did not fully expect. Because even when the reason makes sense…even when nothing is “wrong”...there is still a moment of disappointment when something you hoped for does not unfold.
I found myself sitting with questions I did not anticipate. Did I misread the moment? Was I as ready as I thought? Did I get it wrong? We often think that when we take the step we believe is right, things will begin to align. But sometimes the step is right, and the outcome still does not unfold as we expected.
That does not mean the step was wrong. It does not mean the work was not meaningful. It does not mean we misunderstood what we felt. It simply means that the outcome is not ours to control. The Pivot is not a promise of results. It is an invitation to trust the step, even when the path shifts, even when the response is different, even when the next moments feel unclear.
And perhaps this is where the deeper work begins.
Not in taking the step, but in staying grounded when the outcome does not affirm us as we hoped.
Purpose Meets Strategy (Take 10 Minutes)
When something you hoped for does not happen, resist the urge to immediately explain it.
Instead, separate the moment into two parts:
What you did
What came back
Write down what you know about the step you took, what was thoughtful, prepared, and true. Then name the outcome for what it is, without adding meaning to it.
This small distinction creates space.
Space to learn.
Space to adjust.
Space to continue, without carrying unnecessary doubt forward.
May you find steadiness even when the outcome is uncertain.
May you hold space for both disappointment and possibility.
And may you continue forward with quiet confidence and grace.
If this reflection resonates with you, share it with a SisterFriend who might need it today.